so thankful and older

Over the last couple of days..
I have been reflecting on how truly grateful I am for all the little things.
(what a change from the last post)

All the things that yes everyday I take forgranted or the times when I life gets in the way and Im too busy to notice (am now Im remeding ways to improve myself)- as there is always room for it. And for all the BiG things and important things in my life that sometimes I'll admit I never appreciate the full value of all the time.

Brandon-
He is really so incredible. Its been a real learning experience living and loving together.. and all that comes with that especially for the type a independent me (this blog has been a kleidoscope of that). I am so blessed to have him in my life and so appreciative for all the things he does not only for me, but for us, and how he always manages to put me first. He has taught me so much about myself (patience, relaxation, letting go, another view, loving better) I am so excited to be his wife for 98 years. (did you see that countdown? -->)

All my friends-
Brandon points it out to me all the time. I am so lucky to have the friends I do.. and ALL that I do have. Who are there no matter what and are a true constant in my life. Especially after this past Birthday and realizing how I have "grown" with a lot of friends- which is pretty impressive to still be so close and important to one another.

I am so lucky to be healthy. This I feel Im aware of a lot working in healthcare. Of coarse there are situations when things hit a little more close to home, but working in healthcare for me is a constant reminder of a: how responsible I am for my health in 30 years and how I want to help guide my family as they make healthcare choices and decisions. I have a whole soap box on this issue so I'll just leave it at that, but my "so-called significant" things become fastly insignificant in the grand scheme of reality.

And just family..
Life is just going by too fast, days are just flying by. It's sad that it sometimes takes a holiday or a death for family to come together and the time that you do have doesnt seem long enough. I pride myself in carrying family traditions and making my family first. Its weird how as you get older your relationship with family and how you view family and that little time you do have changes. I feel sometimes I never knew it was happening. It just did and thats the way it is.

I think that's it.
Emily

ratched-y

"oh man"

this is going to be a rant.

This whole nursing school journey been a ride, lemme tell ya. It's sometimes really hard to see the good that is going to come out of it and just merely the point of things, even those simple. All the hoops, sleepless nights, early early mornings, headaches, hours and hours of studying-more or less cramming and converting to short term memory to just get through the test. Sitting through hours of lecture (at inconvienent times) where you aren't sure if you learned anything or even know what your instructor is talking about (was I supposed to have memorized the chapter again and or teach myself). The frustration with knowing what I do know (and see practiced) and then to be told its wrong. Horrible Peds instructors with the exception of Helene. The work ethic of colleagues and how they may or may not grasp or take hold of their experience like I do. And lastly simple follow through.. the follow through has been horrible..

I thank god that I had a very good foundation and that I chose to take that path and listened to instructors who believed in me and looked at me with the same challenge that I was do desperately searching for, and of course to my co-workers and mentor best friends without you and your understanding my head might spin off.

I cannot wait to have this whole experience behind me..

emily

behind me

this is my stack...

the stack Ive been going in and out of since July

I took my final today and passed.. and in 4 more clinical days

block 3 of Nursing school will finally be behind me...

I cannot wait until this is all over with, but I gotta get through one more very tough semester.

thank you to brandon, my family/friends and co-workers

for all the love & support

and can you believe the wedding is less than 5 months away??

ahh!!

-Emily

workin it out..

We fired Dr. winter.. long drama story short..

Brandon went and saw Dr. WaZ (thats what I call him since I cannot pronounce his last name) very specialized Ortho man. Top doc for the phx coyotes and handles specific sports related injuries- specifically shoulders. Needless to say he is quite wonderful and has given us better options. Basically says that physical therapy might help in lieu of surgery, yet he will do surgery if that is what Brandon wants. He gave the most indicisive man I know (brandon) indicisive options..

Brandon decided (and I agreed) that trying physical therapy for 2 weeks (2 sessions/wk) is a reasonable request/trial. Since the injury (YES OVER A MONTH AGO!) he has been pretty cautious with his arm.. this will kinda give him a chance to build up the muscles again and see if that helps.. He will continue to follow up with Dr. WaZ and go from there..

So yes, still poss surgery although we aren't getting the impression its an emergent thing.

I know a lot of you had been concerned/worried and thats the latest.

Emily & Brandon too.

"this all is a mere period in the grand scheme of things"

my friend mali tells me that all the time when she knows my heaping plate is getting a little heavy.. what a way though to put things in perspective.. everyone needs a mali.

First..

Brandon's arm is still not fixed!

The best way to explain it is.. he has a torn socket that his humerus (upper arm bone) fits into (for my medical people- torn labrum and bankhart lesion)- not rotator cuff. Even with physical therapy he has about a 80% chance that it could dislocate again. We had explored the idea of just doing physical therapy instead of surgery.. but since its probable it could happen again and physical therapy isnt fixing the ligament (socket tear) and that he'll still have to do physical therapy after surgery (3-4 mo), it just made the MOST sense to get it done, get him back to normal (and most cost effective too really) its a simple outpatient procedure done arthoscopically.

SO anyway you'd really think a SURGEON would want to do surgery!

Apparently golf time, a new jet ski, or his timeshare is a something better to do. As of last week, still had not written the order for surgery when we saw him the week before last! He's got until beginning of next week to get his _ _ it together. Brandon otherwise has no complaints other than just uncomfortable sleep and wanting to be on full duty (he has been on light duty)

He just cannot wait until he is back to normal.

School for me is going really good!

Despite the long hours, the even longer drives, and the super long days. I am learning a lot- feeling more comfortable (really growing) in my skills and always doing my best to stay ahead of the curve. I have been choosing more challenging patients and have been really holding my own. Although, I am anxiously awaiting the 1 week off I get in between blocks. Not to mention graduation in 182 days (but who's counting..) I still am not at all impressed with my new school, haven't really jived with anyone like I did before, but am definitely just in it to be finished..

I just cannot wait to have a normal life..

where I can get settled in my life

not have so many restrictions on time and "what to dos"

read leisurely

have great lunches/dinners with friends

window shop

travel

spend more time with family

see movies

and eventually have a baby..

I do get to do wedding things tomorrow which is SO FUN!

We are really getting excited and have about 6 months to go!

thats all for now

Emily & Brandon too

Brandon's new socks

as to make our lives a little more interesting...

brandon fell down the stairs.

tuesday night about 10 minuets before he was going to leave for work. he bought new socks which as he states "felt slick" against the carpet upstairs. he took the 1st step and his foot went out from under him then he put his left arm out to catch himself and dislocated his left shoulder. he skudded down about 4-5 steps where I found him.

I'll admit at first I thought he was kidding (we have a joke that if one of us fell or something happened medically and we needed help and we are alone it would be until the other one found us to get help etc.. which to us would feel like days.. this is kinda why we carry our cellphones room to room)..

Anyway as I was assessing him (good practice- although for sure not going to be an ER nurse)
I couldnt really tell because of how he was sitting and his black shirt, but when he started to scream I kinda figured I needed to get him to the ER quickly. We realized after about 10 minutes that we werent going to be able to do it ourselves. He could not move his arm with out wanting to pass out, nor do I think I could have gotten him down the extra 7 stairs and into the car. He was sweating profusly and starting to go into shock from the pain.

I called 911 and they were there in about 5 minutes.

They started an IV and gave him 9mg of Morphine to get him to the gurney at our front door.

He was taken by ambulance to Banner Gateway and put right into x-ray. I met him in his ER room while we waited for the doctor to come and see us. They moved us into the procedure room about an 1.5 hr later. x-ray showed only the dislocated shoulder- no broken bones. He was consciously sedated with propofol (yes, the famous med michael jackson used to go to sleep) and his arm was snapped back into place (yes, I was in the room). They kept us there a little while longer so they could watch him (which I was thankful for since he had about 21mg of morphine at this point and the conscious sedation).. We were discharged sometime after 12 and headed to Walgreens to get his prescriptions filled.

oh the funny thing about this story- he was just in his t-shirt, boxers, and socks!
(I grabbed shorts, a new shirt, and flip flops to get him home)

Needless to say it was the LONGEST night. After getting him settled (motrin, ice, and pillows just so) and myself showered & settled it left me a good ol hour of sleep before clinicals in the morning. I did okay the next day... but havent really felt myself until today.

So now he is in a shoulder immobilizer we call it his "man half girdle" (basically elastic band around him with velcro and then 2 straps to hold his arm to his side at all times in a "L" shaped alignment).. We are going to the orthopedic surgeon on Monday for follow up to see how long he needs to be immobilized and if there is anything further they want to check. He should be able to go to work on light duty- just in the office work.

Some of you know he did this before when he was 14. Except he was in a pool when it got dislocated. He says it feels different than before, but he is not sure if he remembers all of the recovery last time. Apparently once you dislocate your shoulder its easier to do it a second time, and even more so right after its been dislocated (hence the immobilizer).

He is doing okay and gets around pretty good.. the only trouble he has is achy pain, sweating, and trying to get comfortable to sleep..

Anyway, a little bit of excitement never did no harm... hopefully!

SchooL

I found out this past monday that I have been accepted back into the Nursing program.

I start Monday July 13 full time again.

Im a little anxiousnervous over the whole thing (new "far" school, new program, new people). This week has been especially trying to get all the paperwork done, scheduling right, and ducks in a row.. all the while all the emotions/feelings of my whole life being turned upside down again. (Ive become very spoiled the last 3 months not having school). I know ultimately its what I want to do and its hard to sometimes remember that. I just feel that in reality I am not myself doing it -ie Im not the same person I am when I am in school that I am normally, and how being in school "devastatingly" affects me and Brandons time together-I hate it and its just hard for me to accept it. I am kinda getting excited though and am very humble for the opportunity.

So anyway this time.. I have decided I really have to be a lot more isolated and get through the next 6 months. Brandon told me I am grounded.

anyway that's really all just wanted to update.. going to enjoy the last weekend!

Emily